'The best horse ad I've ever seen': Farmer writes adorably unhinged ad trying to sell his chaotic rescue horse, now people are begging to adopt him

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    Pony/small horse 4 days ago Gate City farm & garden - by owner $1,500
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    FOR SALE: 14.1hh Red Rocket of Mayhem Are you tired of safe, predictable horses? Want to spice up your life with some adrenaline and poor decision- making? Boy, do I have the gelding for you. Standing a proud 14.1hh of pure confusion and misplaced confidence, this red gelding with chrome is broke, sound, soft, and utterly unhinged. Yes, he rides. Yes, he leads, loads, ties, lunges, and probably does your taxes if you ask right. But don't let that fool you - this is a horse with a suspicious amou
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    He's not dangerous. He's just... a little bit stupid in a way that makes you question your own stability. One minute he's a yoga-level soft mover, the next he's staring at a rock like it just insulted his mother. There's something loose upstairs - we're not sure what - but it jiggles around just enough to keep things interesting. NOT for kids. That said, kids have ridden him, but only the kind that bounce well and aren't all that attached to living. If your child is an adrenaline junkie or you h
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    In summary: • 14.1hh of unpredictable athleticism • Red with chrome and just enough sparkle to trick you into optimism Broke, sound, soft, stupid ⚫ Loads, ties, leads, lunges, turns in, self-appoints as dictator of your farm • Not mean, just bizarre ⚫. Kids can ride him but probably shouldn't unless they're training for rodeo clowns or demolition derby • Priced accordingly to reflect the entertainment value and mental healthcare costs
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    corgib t19 Had one like this, best horse of my life. He'd jump anything you pointed him at, but he also might rear and hop like a gymkhana pony if you ask him to stand still for a few minutes.
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    He'd be galloping mach Jesus down a trail, and didn't care about dogs, umbrellas, you name it. But a mossy rock? N ked rocks were safe, but a d in rock? moss covered g d Full skid stop, spin, run the other way. Gave a different ride
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    to every person that got on him, too. Beginners, he wouldn't go - he'd putz at a slow jog, barely step over jumps. Intermediate riders he really hated; he had a dirty stop for anyone that leaned at a
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    fence and tensed in the slightest. For advanced people who closed their legs to fences and let him figure out the last few strides he was a machine, but asking him to settle out cross country or when he was otherwise in the zone often had him throwing shapes and running sideways up (or, a few times, down) a hill.
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    Opaque water bottles were fine, anything remotely translucent and you'd best have a sticky seat if you wanted to grab a drink while mounted. Wore four g d din rustling, grass hula skirts around his
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    body from chest to tail for a halloween costume, bolted and dropped the kid riding him because the ground person approached him with his first place ribbon.
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    He'd let himself out of his stall, let the other horses loose, them shut himself back in his stall again - only got caught thanks to a camera - but he never tested a fence and could be contained with a single strand of electric. Loved to get on his
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    hind legs to reach an apple in a tree, to the point the neighbors called animal control while we were at work because they thought he was having some kind of episode attacking a tree.
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    cathartic-canter "Come see him, or don't. Either way he'll be here plotting"
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    kilroy-was-here-2543 Western Reminds me of this quote "His men would follow him anywhere, but purely out of curiosity"
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    ElowynElif That might be the best horse ad I've ever seen.
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    Alarming-Flan-9721 Dressage 'not mean, just bizarre' lol me
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    DoMBe87 "Not mean, just bizarre"... Why do I want him so bad?!?!? Probably good I'm not in TN, because he's definitely not the chaos I need in my life right now, but heaven help me, | want him in my pasture...
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    Cow_Daddy I CAN FIX HIM!
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    Dazzling_Flight_3365 He sounds like he's channeling orange cat energy. Must not be his turn with the collective brain cell.
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    . PhD_VermontHooves 2d ago HAHAHAHA I am CACKLING out loud here. This is so good!!!
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    Wandering Lights I love when people are hilariously honest.
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    Curiousbut_cautious I'm so glad this guy is on the other side of the country because otherwise he would 100% be coming home with me
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    wildcampion I can hear the souls of a million pony girls screaming in unison "I can fix him"
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    shycotic Oh my word... I think I owned this pony in a previous incarnation.
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    Easy to catch. Who ever says that about a pony? So easy to catch. Thrust her head in the halter at the first whisper. But try to catch anyone else in the herd? Hahahaha. She was completely peaceful until you tried to catch anyone else in the herd and then she would try to k I them.
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    Soft, soft soft in the bridle. Like butter. A trot so smooth you did a double take to see if she was maybe gaited. But her walk? HUGE, bouncy and my son fell off her the first time I tried to teach him to ride. Like... how was this pony walking like that?
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    Could not be tied. She would side-eye me and begin a sloooooow lean back. Unless she was tied to a thin loop of binder twine. Then she was perfectly fine. She broke a lot of halters, lead snaps and posts before I realized that she was doing what she thought I wanted. She was that kind of clever. Like, the crazy kind.
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    Brave enough that I have no doubt she would walk through fire for me. Unflappable about nearly everything, or at worst would give a spook-in-place and instantly settle. Unless it was a white plastic grocery bag. I even carried her feed to her pan in a white plastic grocery bag for years but she was convinced they were the devil.

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